Returns Regret
An unfortunately true story.
In my defense, K and I had only stepped outside the store and tasted the lube, it’s not like it was, er, “pre-owned.” Thinking back on that day, I guess I should’ve explained as much. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20. Sorry, friend!
Are there any *good* tasting lubes? The unflavored (plain?) varieties taste better than the flavored ones, but they still aren’t enjoyable. So has anyone run across any lubes that don’t taste like, well, lube?
Wicked brand lube taste really good. They have coffee, candy apple, pomegranate, vanilla bean and salted carmal flavored. It’s sugar free and safe for diabetics and I think it’s vegan if I’m not mistaken. I worked as a manager at an adult store for a year and a half so I tasted most of the products before if sell them as “good tasting” or not.
Read “porngranate” and was mesmerized for a few seconds…
+1 haha
Once bought a “his and hers” lube. Separate they were fine, but when they, er, “mixed” so to speak, the result smelled exactly like Nickelodeon Gak. Funniest sex fail of my life.
Astrogel is sort of sweet. I’ve never found the taste to be all that offensive.
As a person who has been forced to work in returns I hate to say it but customers like you… I wanted to stab your kind in the neck with a pen. I knew exactly where to hit to get the artery, nice and deep into the esophagus then tilt the pen up. I had a person return a toilet, A FREAKING TOILET UNCLEANED, because they didn’t like how it felt when they sat on it. A ten year old chainsaw because it is ‘dangerous’. I even had somebody try to return a Christmas Tree.
I BS’ed them so hard, since trees arrive cut they don’t fall into the live plant with one year return thing guarantee. If they had pushed it, I would have had to give them their money back. Oh and it was January 3rd when they dragged it in, we threw it away for him.
Yeah, so this a little awkward, but calm down with the threats of bodily harm. That’s really not what our comment section is for and makes me very, very uncomfortable. I don’t want to ban anyone for expressing their opinion wrt to Customers Vs. Customer Service politics, but your exposition of stabbing my spouse in the neck is entirely inappropriate and really not going to be tolerated here. – K
I hardly think he meant it though? I imagine it was hyperbole, along the lines of “I could eat a horse,” or “it makes me want to punch kittens?” I don’t think anyone would actually try to consume an entire horse, and only the most depraved sociopaths would actually ever punch a kitten.
That may very well be the case, and I think it is, but it doesn’t change the fact that it makes me uncomfortable. We actually get a lot of actual threats of violence just for being LGBT, so something like that popping up in an otherwise funny rant by someone who probably meant well makes me squirm in my seat. Sorry, just my two cents. I don’t mean to be a jerk here, it’s just not something I’ll tolerate from anyone, even friends and loved ones. 🙂
-K
No need to apologize. If it makes you uncomfortable, it makes you uncomfortable. And hey, we definitely know where you stand on threats of violence now, so there’s that. 🙂
I’m sorry that you get threats just for being who you are. That’s bullshit. 🙁
A thousand apologies, I didn’t mean to imply the violence was directed at your spouse. It was more a blanket statement but I can understand where you are coming from. So once again I do apologize, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I’ll keep the violent comments to things like staring daggers at bad customers. Or wanting to yell at them because they tried to return a candy bar that they already ate. The whole thing. Didn’t even have the wrapper, had to get two managers to explain to them that they can’t return food they ate in its entirety.
No problem, thanks for the apology and explanation. 🙂 And holy crap, haha, I’d ask them to give it back in some form or shape, but I’d be afraid of what that might actually entail if they went through with it.
Not a problem, glad I was able to clear it up. I’ve always been a bit verbally intense, just in my nature. I will remember to keep things much calmer here. Though I will say this about the people that think I’m a bit too intense. During my time as a cashier I have been stabbed, and shot twice. I have had hot coffee thrown in my face, I have been physically assaulted. I have been cursed and screamed at as well as been spit on. Many of these people I have had to apologize to for being rude, after they attacked me physically or verbally. I’m serious I had to apologize to the kid that stabbed me in the calf with a pen. It was stuck in me deep, spent the rest of my shift with quarter of a roll of paper towels and electrical tape as a makeshift bandage on my leg.
So apology has been made and accepted. I have learned I need to be less intense and we can agree that working with the public can be daunting.
D: You need to get out of customer service. For your own safety. Also, where the hell do you work, so I can avoid that establishment? That’s crazy.
Everywhere. People are insane and stupid.
@knottyjames You… really don’t belong in customer service. I admit people can be intolerable but damn… reacting to such a degree makes you seem… psychotic.
I think you’re blaming the effect on the cause, here. People who work customer service don’t start out that bitter and angry. They’re slowly ground down by customer stupidity until, one day, they wake up hating everyone. Blame the stupid, ignorant, asshole customers, not their victim.
I can so agree. I started working at a grocery store six months ago and when I first started, I loved my job. And one day a coworker of mine said “You learn to hate it” and so I have begun hating my job. Customers get so bad I one time actually considered where to hide a customer’s body before I snapped out of it, mostly because there simply were too many witnesses. I do love my job, I just hate the customers. So many entitled cuntcanoes because they think they’re better than the people working at a grocery store. Especially the food stamp people. Not saying all of them, but yeah. If anyone has ever worked in customer service, they’l understand what I’m talking about. People just get bad and thy continue to be bad and there are all sorts of crazy cuntcanoes out there.
Um dude… Calm thy tits. I’ve worked in a mostly customer service position for nearly ten years now, and while there have been a few customers who I would have liked to do in, they were all of the more extreme screamy kind, with many other bad attributes thrown in. None of which are portrayed in this comic. Then you not only made it personal, but extremely graphic, and quite a bit scary. I think this is one of those situations where an apology might be appropriate…?
Customer Service person probably laughed about this for six days, and told 70 people for a fun story – became the most popular person at a party due to story. No harm no foul.
“Hey! I haven’t seen you since high school!”
I think I’d have found this the most awkward part – more-so than the lube return itself 😀
The other day I went shopping for lube, and after asking which one tasted the least offensive the guy behind the counter ended up letting my taste them all. Like it wasn’t a weird rest or anything, haha. I really enjoy the sliquid brand, and I found the sliquid organics botanically infused natural gel to be the best. I had previously enjoyed sliquid silk, which feels amazing but tastes so bad you can’t taste any of the good stuff it’s covering.
As a former Wally World wage slave, no idea what the guy above is on about. It *might* have been better to say you’d just bought it five minutes or so ago but live and learn and I bet his face was *priceless* in the interval between the two sets of panels! 😀
That has to be awkward running into a former classmate in an adult store, more so if said classmate is an employee.
Back before tasty products were available, my then hubs begged me to use chocolate syrup. It was horror…sticky, gooey horror that defied all cleaning efforts.
Never Fear! Bacon flavored lube has been invented
Wait, you are allowed to return an opened, non defective product? How?