The Kids Are A Blight
Also! Now Available:
The Female Anatomy (According to Our Government) – The T-SHIRT!!!
Ooooh!
Apparently, the female anatomy is made up of sugar and spice and everything ridiculous, according to our government and a long laundry list of its new laws in several States on female reproductive health. At least you donāt have to be confused any more, with a handy-dandy chart of the female contents! Amaze your friends and relatives with your vast scientific knowledge and your stylish anatomy!
- Does Not Contain the Scary āIt Will Not Be Named” V-Word as Banned from Being Uttered in the Presence of Congress
- Does Not Contain Any Actual Anatomy or Science
- Does Contain Humor
- Anti-Rape Weasel Included to āShut Down” Unwanted Pregnancies, as Deemed Accurate by Senators
- Full Color to Highlight Idiocy of Our Government and Deep Political Sarcasm
Iām pretty disappointed things have only gotten worse since the ChaosLife comic featuring this chart came out ā didnāt really think that was possible! Kās reaction: āLetās make it a t-shirt.” The people we were with: āYes, please.” So, t-shirt it is! (And holy crap, look at that snazzy rib alignment.)
My thoughts exactly
I’m with you! Kids are awful little monsters.
Then they are annoying self entitled teens.
Then adults who think they are this shit.
And then entitled elders…
Come to think of people just kind of suck…
You. I like you. (I hate everyone, though.)
… I actually used to do screaming matches a LOT…
There was this one time when I screamed so loudly and for so long that everyone was staring at me completely dumbfounded… Then the principal came to get me and scolded me like crazy…
That was the last time I did a screaming match… >.<
I wouldn’t say the kids are a blight; they’re more of a plague, don’t You think? Like locusts or rodent-borne pestilence.
Love the shirt, and I may actually get one, even though I don’t usually wear t-shirts. But hey, everyone needs their own anti-rape weasel. Who makes the shirt (for those of us who boycott companies that profit from slave labor)?
I believe Society6 uses American Apparel T-Shirts and Skreened for their printing. Skreened is a local business here that’s pretty awesome and while American Apparel CEO is creepy as hell, their manufacturing is based in the U.S..
American Apparel is okeydokey with me: no slaves, no sweatshops, made in USA, “fair wages” (not really). Yes, the CEO is a creep and the company and products are acceptable. Thank You for answering my question. You are so sweet to me!
not a plague, more like… a zombie horde!
Hmmm. .. Zombies? I don’t think children are very zombie-like. Their parents turn into zombies sometimes, sometimes worse, but children move pretty fast, rarely seek anything having to do with brains, and eventually grow out of their condition.
More like the left 4 dead zombies!
What not all kids are bad, when I visited my relatives in korea my cousins had really polite kids (calling me hyung/oppa) and they were so cute too (hugged them quite a lot :3). they were around 4 years old, 2 boys which were twins and a girl, the twins were quite silly like wearing the right shoe on both their feet or tricking us with their names.
But i guess their upbringing affects how polite they are perhaps since korean parents are stricter compared to western parents imo *shrugs* not a 100% sure
Oh come on not you too! haha but seriously, as someone who has to withstand with a lot of trouble the kids make, I can tell you they are not as bad as you think š I would dare to say that they are the best humanity has to offer, and (come on!) we were all children once. Anyways, this was still funny š
Iāll say that children aren’t completely shitty. They can be funny, and oneās own child is obviously something truly special. And of course we were all children once. My younger self was very happy and active. That being said, I hate my younger self.
I honestly prefer my try-hard teen-aged years to the preceding preteens. I was a loud mouthed try-hard with a complete disregard for social reflection and introspection. I was an unapologetic delinquent driven wholly on surface level thoughts, who purposefully acted out against the educational system on the pretense that I could do whatever I wanted. And Iām not just talking about cutting class or dodging homework; I legitimately received an F fucking minus in my middle school English class because I had it out for the teacher. Like, aggressively had it out for her. I remember interrupting her once to tell her that the lesson was stupid and that this was grounds for me to put a stop to it. I’ve always loved English classes, excelled in them, and that year I decided āIām a rebel without a cause, better make one for myselfā.
I donāt even remember why I disliked her so much, which pretty well goes to show that there wasn’t any real brain activity for me to recollect. In fact, I donāt recall a decent portion of my childhood: anything predating about thirteen or fourteen is nearly a blurā¦I screamed at my friend once because he killed a wormā¦I took scissors to a coat that my single-parent mother got me for Christmas years before thatā¦People always try to counter my aversion to children by pointing out that I was āonce a child tooā, but thatās just the thing; I know EXACTLY what I donāt like about every stupid, drooling, self-centered, ethically unaware child who tries to tell me a poop jokeā¦because I was one of them!
I apologize for the wall of text, but “pants hands” truly spoke to me and my experiences. Love your guys’ blog, keep it up, don’t change a thing.
THIS!
This comic and your Baby comic make me feel like I’m not alone in a sea of child-obsessed horror. Babies are terrifyingly weird (which I’m normally a fan of) and children are just mobile babies. Babies —> Children = Sharks —> Sharknado
Thank you!
As someone who can’t stand children, I share your pain. Everytime I tell someone that I don’t like kids, they look at me like I just kicked their puppy or something.
That’s it, going to have to introduce your comics to my partner now as she will love this!
PS Is it cool with you if I share this to her Facebook wall?
Ha ha Yes! Thank you for making a perfect visual for how I feel. š
The bit in FAWLY TOWERS : GOURMET NIGHT, where Basil accidentally elbows an irritating kid in the head has long been one of my favourite moments.
How can you think pants hands aren’t awesome?
Pants hands are incredible.
Pants hands!
This is one of the reasons that your comic is so enjoyed by the folks at /r/childfree on reddit.
I wasn’t a big fan of kids before, but after having to share a 3 hours flight with not one, nor two, but THREE fuckin’ toddlers who cried and screamed non-stop, I begun hating both the kids AND the parents. (Now I hate everyone. Yay for being a cynical asshole!)
You bloody scumbag of a douche-parent, if your god damned hell-spawn can’t keep it’s mouth shut for a few minutes (not hours), give it some bloody tranquilizers. OR ELSE !
Yeah, kids give me the shits too. I tolerate it because any exposure is usually only in passing. It’d be a real bummer to have to actually live with one of those things though.
I can’t stand kids! Thankfully I’m sterile. Love the comic!
Well of course the lesbian dislikes children. They act like full-grown men.
DNi, if you’d paid any attention to the preceding three panels of the comic, instead of obsessing over whether Stiffler is or isn’t a lesbian, you would have grasped the blindingly obvious fact that s/he dislikes children because s/he finds them to be intensely annoying. Which they are.
Why does everyone on the internet despise children? Did you just poof into existence at age 20?
Uh, dude? I was making a joke about how men are essentially giant children. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.
Uh, DNi, perhaps if you weren’t an offensive twat you would have understood how poor of a comment yours was. Yes, she’s a lesbian, and no… not every grown man acts like a grown man. So way to go off of a sexist and heterosexist stereotype all at once. Lesbians can like men, they just don’t want to fuck or kiss them because we don’t find them sexually appealing. Maybe next time you should rattle around that brain for some extra brain cells before you make another comment.
Thank you for your comics! I live in Russia and there isn’t a lot of things to laugh at. (You know, what I mean) But your art-works made me and my girlfriend laugh and got us a lot to think.
I despise small children… And large children… And teenagers… Ok, people overall. People, as a whole, are surprisingly dumb.
I don’t get it, those things are all hilarious. Except for the screaming match. That’s insta-time-out. But really, if pants hands were the worst thing a kid could do, I want all kids to have pants hands.
Responding to the “you were a kid once” crowd: Yes I was a kid once, who was disciplined and taught to act civilized instead of the screaming cretins I see every day. It was not considered cute in my household to smear food on your face or throw things. Even as a child I hated being around other kids, because they acted like feral beasts on a sugar high.
What I love about my six year old niece is that she equally dislikes children of her own age as I do. Which cannot be healthy somehow, but still it’s rather amusing.
this t-shirt is the first thing i asked for when my family asked me what i wanted for my birthday. i live in a place most people think would be liberal but is actually horrifyingly conservative so i’m excited to wear it everywhere.
Kids aren’t that bad some are most aren’t like take my cousin vas he’s a good kid he gets in trouble but we all make mistakes but we were all kids once we all make mistakes no ones perfect not you not me not anyone so get over it kids are what helps get u trough the days that u can’t get out of bed or when your sad they help u up they care for you and u need to care for them also or what else do we have to live
The only thing I hate more than kids, is self righteous parents trying to convince you that kids are awesome by writing long sentences with no punctuation what so ever. People are not obligated to like kids. Get over it.
I did the screaming match with my sister when we were little once.My mom was in another room, on a chair, trying to reach something on a high self and she got so panicked that something might have happened to us that she fell.Kids can be a real bundle of joy sometimes š .
Replace “kids” with “blacks”, “jews”, “gays” et.al. and see where that takes you. Why is it supposed to be ok to hate kids? Because some of them do things I don’t like?
It would probably take me to Wacky Town where you live, so I’m sure I don’t want to go there.
Hahahahahahaha what? You cant replace kids with that stuff because kids (well, generally) are still being raised. Or something. I dont know. I cant believe I’m still here.
Yuck. Kids. Screaming, crying, doing horrible things for no reason. Here and I thought I was the only one that hated the vile little monsters.