I remember that! I think I still have a copy lying around. He showed up at my place too, he was kind of slumped over the tree stump in the front yard and I thought one of the cats had gotten him. He handed me a dull note card that had ‘You’re not into it.’ printed in the most boring font ever. I did get to meet Harold the Homoromantic Hedgehog, though. He was nice. He brought cookies!
I got Heidi the High-Sex-Drive Hyena: She smashed in through a window, ricocheted off me, pointed out that the “men have the sex drives; women are passive” stereotype is bull, and drew a penis on my forehead before leaving.
I got to meet berry the benevolent bisexual bull. He rammed into my room at 12 years old and smacked me across the face before telling me to suck it up and love my self already. He was a great bull, I didn’t see him for a while after that, until he came storming in with Terry the Tawny Eagle. He was very upset with me but he hugged me and told me it was okay to be trans, even though everything is really confusing, it will work out in the end, then Tawny helped convince my mom the let me start Testosterone at sixteen, life has been great since then.
Crap, no wonder I didn’t get a letter. I thought the it was some random pigeon that died on my porch so I tried burying it. It went crazy then flew away. I ended up with a series of vague cryptic clues that took a couple of years to figure out.
I’m not actually transgendered myself… but I have it on good authority that trans folk receive there letter from Tammy the Transexual Toucan. Really there are few birds more fabulous then a toucan.
I still remember when I was visited by the awesome Dick the Dyke Duck. Nice fellow. He was a little late to the party, because he eats too much and cannot fly very well and didn’t even fit through the window, but better late than never. It was a good party. There were hats.
I actually got my trans* letter quite early on from Trix the Trans* T-Rex. I’m not sure about everyone else. But zie has the most be-utiful rainbow tail feathers.
I got Gene the Genderqueer Gnat, of course I kept missing them because their so small but eventually they buzzed in my ear enough and I picked up on it. Of course Quinn the Queer Quail was more visible so I picked up on her a little quicker.
I was visited by Arby also, followed sometime after by Alice the aromantic alligator who advises eating those that will try to tell you you’re broken or that there’s something wrong with you. She apologised for taking so long and pointed out in her defense that she has only got short legs.
I thought it might be a reference to more than one thing in the comic (the tiny train/castle/normal-sized human totally reminded me of Mr. Rogers) — obviously, the rest is Harry Potter, but I was curious about the train, which is why I asked.
It was meant to be a parody of the Harry Potter train, but if anyone was going to make a glorious Queer Land and run it, I’d probably pick Mr. Rogers first. He’d be a good substitute Dumbledore.
I thought it was the supposed to be scarf of sexual preference? (If you haven’t seen a very potter musical, or a very potter sequel, go do it NOW! youtube, GO!)
Oh my gods, this is my absolute…. Outstanding, I’m using this as an answer now to respond to that question. Like legitimately I will have this comic on hand to answer that question. Thank you so much 😀
From people telling me their stories without my prying, I know that “how they found out” is usually a really uninteresting story (“I just knew”) or one that will break your heart for how difficult those around them made it. Either way, conversation killer.
(for the latter, the conversation has ended because hugs have begun)
My “How I Found Out” story is boring. Gym Class locker rooms + Puberty = You start to realize some things.
It’s the “How Everyone Else Found Out” stories where all the drama and intrigue and heartbreak are.
My story has an actual trans* bird in it. Alfred, the pet duck I had when I was around 6 years old. When he started laying eggs, my parents insisted he couldn’t be Alfred anymore… so that made me wonder about plenty of things.
I had him round for a good few months; every night all the questions. Sadly he didn’t come back after a while, but then Rainbow Dash came over with my Queer medal and it was awesome 🙂 <(^.^)<
Yeah, Quincy and I talked some more after that, but it never went anywhere. Rainbow Dash and I started exchanging emails after I replied to one of her posts. After a long discussion, she came round and gave me a Queer medal, and you know, it was awesome. Plus we had cake.
You mean the owl that’s pecking at my head right now? First he told me I was gay, took me a while, but I accepted it, though now he’s telling me I’m trans*, you can have him back if you’d like.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being trans*, it’s just he can’t be clear with anything can he. unlike a peacock, he can never just out and tell you.
Well, my wife imagined it would be an entirely separate school from Hogwarts, associations aside, and lovingly named it The HaaaaayWarts School for Queerness & Sexuality.
Hm, I think my messenger bird ran into some problems. I got a letter, but I think it was dropped in a puddle at some point, and I can’t figure out quite what it says.
I just got Patrice the Transsexual Peahen. I wouldn’t have been so annoyed, if only she wasn’t such a jerk. The Scarf of Sexual Preference would have been preferable. (Joking aside, I still kinda don’t know my orientation. Or don’t care. One of those two. It seems to be one of those “doesn’t matter what they are, just who they are” sexualities.)
Quin the Questioning Quail doesn’t really leave. She just kind of sits on top of my head and sometimes gives me letters but then takes them back and eats them. Rude. At least most of y’all got letters and got to keep them. :\
You too? I’ve found if you leave some dandelion flowers out she’ll invite her sister Cara the Confused Queer Quail. Still no letter, but she doesn’t steal my glasses as much.
Barnabas the Bisexual Bat was supposed to deliver mine, but he flew over a town, where they had the Olympics and got blinded by all the lights. He found the letter for me only a couple of decades later.
At first I was visited by Bob the bi-sexual bobcat, and recently by Patty the polyamory platypus. But Bob is really quiet and goes into hiding a lot and Patty just confusing everyone.
In Canada, you get a letter from the government stating your sexual orientation when you turn 12. It’s a good system, but it can be very confusing for trans people who have yet to realize they’re trans.
Oh, it’s never that easy in life sometimes or having birds delivering important things to you…
… like having a stork deliver your baby; a pigeon sending you love letters; a pelican delivering a clown fish into a dentist’s office; an owl telling you are going to the best school for wizardry and witchcraft; or a peacock telling you that you’ve come outside the closet.
Ah yes, I remember when I got my letter to ‘~Haaaaaaaaaaywarts~’ school of queerness and sexuality.
Peter the Peacock didn’t visit me, despite my being a lesbian. Instead, I got a visit from Tina the Tit and Beatrice the bluefooted Booby!
We had a pleasant lunch together before I got my letter.
ALSO DID YOU KNOW THAT ~HAAAAAAAAAAYWARTS~ HAS FREE WIFI? Best school ever, lemme tell you.
So I got ’em all dumped on me one day when I opened an overhead storage compartment but I had Pauline the Panromantic Parakeet, Gari the Genderfluid Grouse, Dave the Demisexual Duck and Shauntel the Sapiosexual Starling (google sapiosexuality if need be) all tangled up together. I think they’d been planning a party because there was a LOT of confetti and a “SURPRISE!” banner.
Mine showed up in a pair, actually – Patricia the Panromantic Puffin and Dawn the Demisexual Downy Woodpecker. They were quite nice. Dawn started pecking through my door when I didn’t hear her come in, though.
I got Perry the Pansexual Penguin and Dotty the Demisexual Dove’s child Prat the Panromantic Parakeet and Tammy the Transsexual Toucan come to my window followed by a unicorn named Jack for me to ride over all the haters with.
This would be cool. I grew up not really knowing what homosexuality, bisexuality, or anything else like that was. I have to say, that is one thing the internet has done for our youth. It’s the chance to know.
Discussion (117) ¬
Hey! That’s I I found out, too!
Wait, not everyone finds out their sexuality that way??
Well not everyone is gay. I only got to meet Allan the apathetic asexual pigeon.
HAHAHAHA Omg Allan! so that was his name!
Damn, at least you guys got to meet him, He just slumped over on the floor. I thought he was a normal dead pidgeon. 🙁
That’s Allan for you. Always slumping around everywhere. I think he even wrote a book about it, ‘Best places to slump around the world’ or something.
Yeah, he turned that into an article for the Guide, didn’t he? Won an all-expenses paid trip to Snarglobofrax.
I remember that! I think I still have a copy lying around. He showed up at my place too, he was kind of slumped over the tree stump in the front yard and I thought one of the cats had gotten him. He handed me a dull note card that had ‘You’re not into it.’ printed in the most boring font ever. I did get to meet Harold the Homoromantic Hedgehog, though. He was nice. He brought cookies!
I got Heidi the High-Sex-Drive Hyena: She smashed in through a window, ricocheted off me, pointed out that the “men have the sex drives; women are passive” stereotype is bull, and drew a penis on my forehead before leaving.
I got to meet berry the benevolent bisexual bull. He rammed into my room at 12 years old and smacked me across the face before telling me to suck it up and love my self already. He was a great bull, I didn’t see him for a while after that, until he came storming in with Terry the Tawny Eagle. He was very upset with me but he hugged me and told me it was okay to be trans, even though everything is really confusing, it will work out in the end, then Tawny helped convince my mom the let me start Testosterone at sixteen, life has been great since then.
Man, so jealous of all you non-heteros, we don’t get anything to tell us who we are, we just gotta assume we’re normal and boring…
I ran across Ronny the Panromantic Racoon a few months ago, he explained to me that loving people for people isn’t weird at all!
Crap, no wonder I didn’t get a letter. I thought the it was some random pigeon that died on my porch so I tried burying it. It went crazy then flew away. I ended up with a series of vague cryptic clues that took a couple of years to figure out.
Bahahaha I love the Sorting Hat screaming Lesbian!!!!
I suddenly find myself regretting being straight ._.
so, you didn´t met steve the straight shoebill???
Poor guy is ridiculously overworked…
This.. is so great. Ha ha ha!
Man, I wish my delivery bird was a beautiful peacock, mine was just Barry the Bisexual Pelican.
It’s ok, I got Sammy the Straight Seagull…he was really annoying and also somewhat belligerent.
I got Perry the Pansexual Penguin. Took him a while since he had to swim…
I got Arby the Asexual Albatross… he got distracted along the way and I ended up getting my letter late.
I got Dotty the demisexual dove. She flew out of a hat that I was trying to put on.
I’m not actually transgendered myself… but I have it on good authority that trans folk receive there letter from Tammy the Transexual Toucan. Really there are few birds more fabulous then a toucan.
I still remember when I was visited by the awesome Dick the Dyke Duck. Nice fellow. He was a little late to the party, because he eats too much and cannot fly very well and didn’t even fit through the window, but better late than never. It was a good party. There were hats.
I actually got my trans* letter quite early on from Trix the Trans* T-Rex. I’m not sure about everyone else. But zie has the most be-utiful rainbow tail feathers.
I got Gary the Gay Goose. He never takes an inappropriate gander.
I got Petunia the polysexual puffin a while back ago, she was pretty sweet but my cat tried to eat her….
And while the Orientation Birds are getting to us, we can just chill out with Quincy the Questioning Quail.
Mine was Hallie the homosexual honey buzzard. She and I have both been circling the same honeys for some time now. Sorry if she’s late!
Barry the Bisexual Pelican didn’t visit me until recently! They sent over Dick the Dyke Duck as a placeholder for a few years…
My Demisexual Dove got distracted with Heteroflexible Hawk who got distracted by Heteroromantic Hummingbird. They all came in late.
I got Gene the Genderqueer Gnat, of course I kept missing them because their so small but eventually they buzzed in my ear enough and I picked up on it. Of course Quinn the Queer Quail was more visible so I picked up on her a little quicker.
I was visited by Arby also, followed sometime after by Alice the aromantic alligator who advises eating those that will try to tell you you’re broken or that there’s something wrong with you. She apologised for taking so long and pointed out in her defense that she has only got short legs.
I got a very late visit from Becky the bisexual beaver, apparently she got lost.
that train ride looks like it would be awesome.
It was amazing!
*chortling* OMFG, this is amazing 😀
(Also, is that the train from “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood”??!?)
Pretty sure it’s supposed to be the train to Hogwarts =p
I thought it might be a reference to more than one thing in the comic (the tiny train/castle/normal-sized human totally reminded me of Mr. Rogers) — obviously, the rest is Harry Potter, but I was curious about the train, which is why I asked.
It was meant to be a parody of the Harry Potter train, but if anyone was going to make a glorious Queer Land and run it, I’d probably pick Mr. Rogers first. He’d be a good substitute Dumbledore.
Mr Rogers had a TROLLY!
Yep. We all went to Homowarts. Xena was the founder of the Lesbian house.
Lol. Xena was founder of the bisexual house.
Xena… I think she knows homowarts better than anyone, ALL OF IT!!!
Omg this is perfect, people that make questions like those are so damn annoying, Imma show them this from now on XD!
WAIT. Pete the pecock is real!? I thought he was just another one of my hallucinations! So I’m just a little less crazy.
I thought it was the supposed to be scarf of sexual preference? (If you haven’t seen a very potter musical, or a very potter sequel, go do it NOW! youtube, GO!)
Thanks for making me laugh in the morning. 😀 Birds will seem indeed different now… Is that you, Fabulous Bob the rainbow raven?
That looks so much more fun than finding out youre trans from the scissors fairy …
{cough! splutter!} Well-played there…
Also – the girl asking, that’s Tokiha Mai isnt it?
From ‘Mai Hime’?
Oh my gods, this is my absolute…. Outstanding, I’m using this as an answer now to respond to that question. Like legitimately I will have this comic on hand to answer that question. Thank you so much 😀
UNICORN PONY EXPRESS!
GAY HOGWARTS!
Oh boy. yeah curfew would have to be very strict, and housekeeping would be a crusty nightmare in the boys dorms
I knew I was straight when a pigeon shat on my head 🙂
Never has a comic so needed to be animated!
I love that shot of Pete the Peacock in panel 3
From people telling me their stories without my prying, I know that “how they found out” is usually a really uninteresting story (“I just knew”) or one that will break your heart for how difficult those around them made it. Either way, conversation killer.
(for the latter, the conversation has ended because hugs have begun)
*reads other comments*
Whoops, I’m being a killjoy =/
My “How I Found Out” story is boring. Gym Class locker rooms + Puberty = You start to realize some things.
It’s the “How Everyone Else Found Out” stories where all the drama and intrigue and heartbreak are.
My story has an actual trans* bird in it. Alfred, the pet duck I had when I was around 6 years old. When he started laying eggs, my parents insisted he couldn’t be Alfred anymore… so that made me wonder about plenty of things.
bahaha! This strip is gold!
I was visited by Patrick the Pansexual Panda lol
That unicorn is the most wonderful derpy thing I have seen in my life.
I love this!
Well, Quincy the Questioning Quail visited me after getting lost downtown. He stayed for coffee but left me with more questions than answers.
I had him round for a good few months; every night all the questions. Sadly he didn’t come back after a while, but then Rainbow Dash came over with my Queer medal and it was awesome 🙂 <(^.^)<
Yeah, Quincy and I talked some more after that, but it never went anywhere. Rainbow Dash and I started exchanging emails after I replied to one of her posts. After a long discussion, she came round and gave me a Queer medal, and you know, it was awesome. Plus we had cake.
…can I get this as a print? Please? ’cause this is amazing.
“you GAY!!!!!!!”
All I got was a boring, white letter in the mail saying I’m hetero. Man, I wanted to go a magically fabulous school too.
I wish being told that you were straight was just as colourful.
I <3 this! All I got was a very confused owl, who kept saying, "who are you? Who who – who who?"
You mean the owl that’s pecking at my head right now? First he told me I was gay, took me a while, but I accepted it, though now he’s telling me I’m trans*, you can have him back if you’d like.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being trans*, it’s just he can’t be clear with anything can he. unlike a peacock, he can never just out and tell you.
That train looks like it would be uncomfortable to ride in for any length of time…
Query: What’s the official name for the Hogwarts School of Sexual Orientation?
Well, my wife imagined it would be an entirely separate school from Hogwarts, associations aside, and lovingly named it The HaaaaayWarts School for Queerness & Sexuality.
Methinks a magical school where all the budding teens generally know what they are in for would result in all of the wands smelling funny.
Hm, I think my messenger bird ran into some problems. I got a letter, but I think it was dropped in a puddle at some point, and I can’t figure out quite what it says.
I just got Patrice the Transsexual Peahen. I wouldn’t have been so annoyed, if only she wasn’t such a jerk. The Scarf of Sexual Preference would have been preferable. (Joking aside, I still kinda don’t know my orientation. Or don’t care. One of those two. It seems to be one of those “doesn’t matter what they are, just who they are” sexualities.)
Quin the Questioning Quail doesn’t really leave. She just kind of sits on top of my head and sometimes gives me letters but then takes them back and eats them. Rude. At least most of y’all got letters and got to keep them. :\
You too? I’ve found if you leave some dandelion flowers out she’ll invite her sister Cara the Confused Queer Quail. Still no letter, but she doesn’t steal my glasses as much.
Barnabas the Bisexual Bat was supposed to deliver mine, but he flew over a town, where they had the Olympics and got blinded by all the lights. He found the letter for me only a couple of decades later.
He was most apologetic upon delivery.
So, the closest we’ll get to going to Hogwarts is being queer? … I missed out.
You got a peacock?! Aw… I only got a parrot that tells secrets of the world yet undiscovered.
For me, Diana Ross was involved.
At first I was visited by Bob the bi-sexual bobcat, and recently by Patty the polyamory platypus. But Bob is really quiet and goes into hiding a lot and Patty just confusing everyone.
It’s LesbiOsa, not LesbioSA!
…Luckily, a very simple spell exists to repel bigots, now repeat after me, Fabulous.
The comic is hilarious. But some of these comments…you seem to have started something.
In Canada, you get a letter from the government stating your sexual orientation when you turn 12. It’s a good system, but it can be very confusing for trans people who have yet to realize they’re trans.
Well, for me, Allan the Asexual Albatross and Britney the Bisexual Bobwhite kept fighting, so Quin the Questioning Quail is keeping me company.
Oh, it’s never that easy in life sometimes or having birds delivering important things to you…
… like having a stork deliver your baby; a pigeon sending you love letters; a pelican delivering a clown fish into a dentist’s office; an owl telling you are going to the best school for wizardry and witchcraft; or a peacock telling you that you’ve come outside the closet.
Though, I wish it was that easy.
Bisexuals have Donald the Doting Dolphin…
Cause dolphins have sex for pleasure with the both sexes, get it???
Ah yes, I remember when I got my letter to ‘~Haaaaaaaaaaywarts~’ school of queerness and sexuality.
Peter the Peacock didn’t visit me, despite my being a lesbian. Instead, I got a visit from Tina the Tit and Beatrice the bluefooted Booby!
We had a pleasant lunch together before I got my letter.
ALSO DID YOU KNOW THAT ~HAAAAAAAAAAYWARTS~ HAS FREE WIFI? Best school ever, lemme tell you.
Beautiful. Though I could have sworn Scarfy sorted us based on sexuality, but I guess it could be the hat.
So I got ’em all dumped on me one day when I opened an overhead storage compartment but I had Pauline the Panromantic Parakeet, Gari the Genderfluid Grouse, Dave the Demisexual Duck and Shauntel the Sapiosexual Starling (google sapiosexuality if need be) all tangled up together. I think they’d been planning a party because there was a LOT of confetti and a “SURPRISE!” banner.
“TEN POINTS TO LESBIAN!”
Mine showed up in a pair, actually – Patricia the Panromantic Puffin and Dawn the Demisexual Downy Woodpecker. They were quite nice. Dawn started pecking through my door when I didn’t hear her come in, though.
Pete was kind of a dick to me. Ha ha… kill me now…
I got Perry the Pansexual Penguin and Dotty the Demisexual Dove’s child Prat the Panromantic Parakeet and Tammy the Transsexual Toucan come to my window followed by a unicorn named Jack for me to ride over all the haters with.
Poly the Polygamist Parrot for the win! He told me I am gay then asked for a cracker. How original.
you lucky i got gabe the gay gorilla
BRILLIANT.
If only…
I want to see t-shirts with ALL these characters on them.
Wouldn’t that just be goddamned convenient?
This would be cool. I grew up not really knowing what homosexuality, bisexuality, or anything else like that was. I have to say, that is one thing the internet has done for our youth. It’s the chance to know.
One of my favourites, simply because someone posting it in a forum I frequent is what first led me to this site.
(Also because it’s a great response to a perennial stupid question).